The Chinese Zodiac

Another zodiac and more superstitions for our little princess. If it wasn’t bad enough that there are horoscopes in daily newspapers and magazines, China LOVES fortune tellers and any superstitious nonsense that can be used to drag money out of you at a temple. The madness that goes on at these temples is a book all in itself, never mind a blog post, but safe to say I’ve been to LOTS of these “visionaries” and sadly nothing they’ve said has come true… which is a pain in the ass because 2 of them said I would be rich! Anyway, after a chat the other day with friends about the signs for babies and which years would put stress on maternity wards in China, I was asked to write a little more on the subject. Now I only know a small bit about this… and by ‘small’ I mean a tiny amount so I called the only woman who’d give me an opinion that I couldn’t question and who I take this stuff as gospel from, the Chinese family Matriarch; Jades great granny! So here we go… I’ll tell you about the animals,  your birth year & what the animal says about you and the history of the zodiac over the last 30/40 years so that you can decide for yourself if this is nonsense or not! Firstly, a few traditions… Every couple who want to marry will have the year, day and time of their births examined so that the parents can get together and see if you are compatible before you ever take a trip down the aisle! Many a wedding has been scuppered thanks to the lunar zodiac! Oh yeah… on the multiple of 12 so… 12/24/36/48/60. You have to wear RED underwear for the year. Also you have to wear red underwear on your wedding day too! Rat 1912, 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008  Cowardly Rat are greedy and never need to worry about food. They’ll always find a way to fill their tummy! Ox 1913, 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009 These guys work hard but get little reward. They’re very loyal but you ain’t gonna be rich too young! Tiger 1914, 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010 Female tigers get a hard time from their future mother-in-law because they believe that female tigers don’t treat their husbands right! I actually know of a lady who’s boyfriend ended a relationship due to this nonsense! Rabbit 1915, 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011 Hardworking rabbits take pride in their families. They take on tasks with a spring in their step and work hard to finish what they start. They like to get on with others and shy away from a fight. Dragon 1916, 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012 This is by far the most favoured of all the signs. On this year you can expect to pay more for EVERYTHING. The sheer number of babies means anyone wanting a child will go extreme lengths to have a Dragon baby. Dragons are hardworking, clever, good with money and have an entrepreneurial spirit! Snake 1917, 1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013 This is the second favourite… so if the baby comes late you are still in with a winner. Old generations call it the “little dragon” or dragon with no wings. Snakes are intelligent but unscrupulous which makes them "good business people" Horse 1918, 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014 These guys are a bit of a mixed bag. They have luck with gambling, stocks and shares and even the lottery. Take one as your partner and you might just hit the jackpot! Sheep 1919, 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003, 2015 Winter sheep have no grass to eat which signals they’ll have to work hard to be successful. Spring and summer sheep find it easier to get through life. Monkey 1920, 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004, 2016 These little monkeys are clever, active and can be very tricky. Another great sign to be born under… this is Jade’s sign. My in laws were delighted by this... but they'd have preferred a grandson! Rooster 1921, 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005, 2017 Very healthy people with a long life expectancy, but don’t let them mix with a dog! Good things don’t happen… (My wife left a chicken to be with another dog! ME! Hahaha) Dog 1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006, 2018 Friendly loyal and hardworking. Will do anything to make others happy, they worry about others too much but once they get to 40 they come into their own. (WOW… thats me! This stuff is SO real, bar the 40 thing… I'm well shy of that! Haha) Pig 1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007 Pigs are good… pigs can make lots of cash. They call them golden pigs! Thats a wrap... if you got here... thank you! Leave a comment/question! I love them!

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